Saturday, July 17, 2010

Youre just going to stand there and watch me burn

So, it was an eventful day. I found a wedding dress I love. My mother has decided that she's paying for it. Which I will pay for at a later date, in every emotional way that it always comes down too. But then it ended in my sister and her boyfriend getting in a fight with my mother about him being over all the time. And it is constantly affecting me. My mom is at the point of breaking, and going back in the pysch ward. My grandfather is going to have another heart attack because of all the stress this is causing him. And I have to listen to everyone yell about it, my mom at Briana, and my mom yelling at me about Tom, my grandparents yelling at my mom. I'm stuck in the middle of it all. I'm at the point of going to the psych ward myself.

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts

I think they all get this sick high out of the fact they are pushing me off the deep end. I have all my own stress with the Court date. Which is on Monday. I'm quite freaked out by. I'm so scared that I'm either going to go to jail, or something else is so horrible. Of course no one in my family is coming with me. I'm having a friend from grade school that's driving up from Akron to go with me, so when I break down or go to jail someone is there to take my car back home. It's 12:30 at night and I wish I could sleep. I can't even thing about sleeping. Because it doesn't happen. I wish I wasn't so far away from my shrink apt or even taking our trip to Gurnsy.

thanks for reading. and if you think I'm a whiny bitch you're probably right.

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